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OMNISCIENT_ONE
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Name: GOD
Location: HEAVEN
Interests: Laughing at other people's stupid mistakes, not answering prayers, not forgiving people, and sending people to hell for no apparent reason.
Expertise: Not doing my job; in fact, i am doing the exact opposite.
Occupation: Executive
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/9/2004
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| today was a sad day.
i didnt get to fuck ANYONE!!!!
too many ppl died today, so i couldnt do anything (NO FUCKING TIME)
I lost the eraser of fate, so i need to be extra careful.
I accidentally wrote down that tim qi and brad metheany will have
sex. i really dont know who i should feel sorry for, but o well,
sucks for them.
jobpredictor is the funniest shit ever.
Emmett Powers, your ideal job will be a Satan. This is already
kinda true, but it doesnt really matter cuz if he tries to go against
me, lucifer will assrape him.
apparently, ray bradbury is the reincarnated form of jack sparrow, since they will both turn out to be bearded circus ladies.
apparently, hong zhang and sophia lu will be soul mates (retching at this thought) because they will both be human shields.
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| hello u fucking mortals. today, i came across a girl and a guy
fucking in my chamber. the guy went to hell, and the girl stayed
with me as i cummed all over her face. plz grls(hot ones), if u
want to fuck, fuck me, not some dipshit. As i looked at
everyone's wishes/prayers/hatemail/shit, i found a very interesting one.
From: *************@7thInferno.com
To: ********************************@heavenlyshit.com
Topic: guess u mf
The shit generator broke, and u havent fixed it in 213 years.
btw, y did u send me to hell, i'm kleopatra, and i dont like swallowing
shit all day. I no u want to fuck me.
~ur eternal lover~
My response:
dear kleopat.,
come to my chamber in one hour. u have permission. we will have sex.
-GOD-
____________________________________________________________
and we had sex. after that, i sent her to hell and laughed as lucifer raped her.
-GOD-
p.s. fuck u
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| Welcome to my xanga
dumbfucks. Whoever actually comes across this xanga is bound to
have bad luck. Today, i stuck a telephone up my son's ass for not
telling me that he created a new xanga. BTW u damn christians, if
u pray to me, i will assume that u r either sucking up to me or are
trying to annoy me. BEWARE: Those idiots that actually pray to me
will lose 1 point for every time they pray to me. Here is how the
point system works. Ppl start out with 1,000 points. Each
point represents ur living condition when u die. Those that have
1-10 points get a TV and potato chips and instant ramen. Those
who get 11-75 points get a plasma TV, laptop, and a menu for food
everyday. Those who ger 76-100 points get a movie theater, a gun,
a remote that determines a person's fate, a super-comp, 5 sofas, a
laser printer, a king-sized bed, and best of all, free porn. If u
have never annoyed me in any way, u get 101 points, giving u access to
everything i have except for my power. People who get 0 to -10
points go to limbo. Those who get from -11 to -1000 points have
to eat shit, starve, die 10024324 times in one day, and get fucked so
hard until their penis or vagina rips in half. IF u somehow
annoyed me so much that u have only -1001 or lower, u get to meet my
fav. angel, LUCIFER. People should be careful
at what time they die because for every hundredth person, i send the
101st person to hell, so that my dear angel Lucifer can bite their
asses off. O yeah, to u grls, if u are really hot, u can stay in
my bed, but i get to fuck u everyday. See how FAIR this is? That's all today. Time to
go laugh my ass off.
btw, happy motherfucker's day!
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